Showing posts with label found items. Show all posts
Showing posts with label found items. Show all posts

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Well, my time as a parking violations officer has come to a close, at least for the short term. Perhaps I will take up the chalkstick (for marking tires - to see if cars have moved (the town i worked in has a two-hour limit on parking spaces and the tire marks keep tabs on wether or not cars have moved...)... but i like(d) to think of the chalk mark on the tires as positive reinforcement - my hope = that motorists would see the evidence that i'd been by, and feel gratified that they'd paid the meter for good reason.

A brief aside on the two hour limit: i directly confess that i was lenient on this one - there were (many-ish) times when i declined to write tickets to vehicles apparently lingering beyond the two-hours-maximum-per-parking/space... i did this for a confluence of reasons, the main two being: 1. if the vehicles continued to purchase parking time (aka "feeding the meter")... and, 2. there were clearly available parking spaces nearby during the duration. My explanation: i could not justify, even knowing that this a county ordinance AND knowing that this was my job, writing individuals tickets for not going to the (and this is why) belittling lengths to leave work, shopping, dinner, friends (this is why people come to town!) to get into their car and drive around (often not far) simply to drop it in another space (as close as luck allows) to where they just were. Also, i KNOW some people OFTEN wiped the marks off their tires (it wouldn't feel right ignoring that and noticing a more honest, if less lawful approach). So, in a way, the 2-hr thing just wasn't "my trip," and I'm glad i survived. *One of my co-workers took this part of the job so seriously that tire-wipers were often threatened with the police being called on them for plying their slyness... not that my-coworker didn't get the really infuriating ones anyway, simply by marking less conspicuous areas, often on another tire... again, to each as they must.

Anyway... continuing, yet detouring for one more point along the way...i WOULD write these "Beyond Legal Limit" (two hours, outlined above) citations to vehicles that were simply "abandoned" for the day - vehicles which had no legitimate parking time purchased, and also remained unmoved longer than two hours. ..and i would write one every two hours to that same vehicle as long as it remained so. Don't park like that. It gets costly.

By the end (Now), my bosses had never complained about my work/productivity, and I left the job with an open invitation to return. I am thankful for that, and I just might return some day; I really enjoyed working outdoors, being able to listen to podcasts&music (at a safe volume, and courteously and attentively, of course), as well as not having someone constantly asking me about my "progress" - they get a report of my work every day, and that should be sufficient supplement to our interactions in the office...as, apparently, it was.

Soooooooo.....

For Now, until November 2012, my "employment" will be various farm- and fiber (yarn, etc..) production- related tasks at a small operation in the National Forest areas of middle Pennsylvania. I will be living in a cabin without running water or electricity. Quite a difference, and exciting. This begins in 4 weeks. Until then, I will be readying myself for the move, trying to sell many of the material goods i've been using and caring for for the past 4 years, and having some quality time with my pals across the land.

I'll leave you now, for a period, with one of the last notes I collected from my parking duties. Preface: as you, dear reader, may already be aware, in many cities parking time is dispensed from a kiosk located somewhere (hopefully) near parking, rather than each space hosting a specific parking meter. This is generally favored by parkers as coins aren't necessary - parking can be paid for with credit/debit and paper money, in addition to coins (*including half and whole dollar pieces - foreign coin not yet accepted). In my city, a parking credit is then dispensed on a little sheet of paper which the motorist puts upon the dashboard or behind a windshield wiper. Ok. Check. BUT...sometimes the machine malfunctions: it could be that the machine's out of paper, or the modem connection is severed, the machine's jammed, full, vandalized, etc... sometimes it just doesn't work for mysterious reasons. But, most of the time, it works. Ok. So, below is a note I watched a guy write from down the block. I watched him post it and return to his vehicle. I then made my way down the block expecting him to engage me in discussion, which he did, whereupon he surprised me by having a voice which I could not derive meaning from; he spoke my native language, English, but with a regional accent that would've made his speech difficult to interpret had he not also had the rasp of a lifelong smoker which made all intelligibility completely lost. His voice sounded like scraping stones together, and little more or less. After some time of him talking and pointing towards the kiosk with a frustrated tone and facial expressions, i simply pointed to his car and said: "Sorry. This car parks for free." When I got down to the kiosk i checked out his note, and I liked it so much that I brought it home for all of us, leaving, of course, a note on official stationary (ticket envelope) referring perturbed parkers to another kiosk across the street, with sincere apologies (shoot, i ain't working all night (trying to help em out)).

Ok, here it is.

* I love the illuminated first letter; the variety of script, print, and lower and upper case letters; little "ing" in "takeing"; the "i'v" spelling (which is apparently acceptable according to my spellchecker); the subject-verb disagreement; and the implied paranoia (the machine won't take money if it's not working - it blocks the coin slot, spits bills back out, won't run a card, and clearly states on the digital display that the machine is not working, and sorry for the trouble.)



A great final specimen. Reveals so much about most (after 2 years of this job, i stand by this claim) peoples' relationship with parking.

It does, however, have something (i feel is very special, and deep to suggest): it implies a question that I might never have been able to ponder/suggest had it not been through this avenue, and the question is: how much of one's inclination to hyperbole/willingness to embellish/"lie" is inspired by difficulties in rudimentary communication?


As usual, always lots to consider.


To paraphrase Gandhi on the way out for a bit, let's remember that each of us CAN "be the change we wish to see."



Thanks friends!

TWYS (talk/type with ya soon)
-2461p

Be well. In joy.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Cache up

i've had these two notes for a bit. gotta get em on here and be free of em. i find em funny, though i do empathize with the writers. i just don't have control over all aspects of the meter, so it's a judgement call - if i don't know your car, you're safe, i'll take your word for it. and, of course, if i know the car from great parking (there are some! (i smile typing that)), i'll certainly trust (and not write you a ticket). dunno if that's true for the other officers (we're officers) though...so, keep that in mind. circa Jan/Feb 2012.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Hall of Shame

I've seen this open Bible on the dashboard of this car several times, and often the car is in a state of malparkage (tip of the hat to The Simpsons - my favorite show). The book is positioned so I can read it easily, but I never know which verse is the one I'm supposed to heed! Is it Psalm 51? Here's verse 1: "Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love: according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions." Hmmm... I can see an angle there. But it could be Psalm 52! (Verse 1: "Why boast you of mischief done against the loving-kindness of God [and the godly], O mighty [sinful] man, day after day?") It's like someones are TRYING to confuse me..

I don't care if your NAME is Kmart, this is just dumb.

Laws are offensive.



Proof that there really is a Garfield.

The ubiquitous "tumbleweave." The elastic band makes this a rarer specimen.

Just put your lips on the body like this... (the "news" is offensive, too). *i was only inside for a minute, boss.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Catching Up!: Notes/Memoirs/Litters


The way i'm gonna do this (transcribe these) is: i'll type exactly what the handwriting looks like to me, then, when necessary, follow confusing bits with my best guesses at translation within brackets. For example, the first note contains handwriting that looks to me like it says "Af Leo" so i will write that, but it will be followed by [After]. Get it? Good. Finally, in the interest of readability, I will embolden (is that a word?) what i perceive is the gist of the narrative.

1:

 

"(I've) Af Leo [After] completing ties [the] Exposing Phase & Concludeing realizeing [realizing] in a ferain/ fret will go to rear woarerdl lengtus to keep from working [?] toseter [together] & coming up to // that remaining loyal + absolutely refusing to give up on Phamily & Phriends this makes me soceting [something] that I denied for 25 years: A Damn Fool! // By takeing [taking] full adventsege [advantage] of unEmployment I Experinced [experienced] the Exposing Phase"

my thoughts: someone put someone up to this, but i hope it helps. lives can be pretty tough. (((good vibes)))

2:

 

*before you get started, i'll let you know that this one gets a "bawdy materials" tag. love poetry on receipt paper. yay! (i'm just gonna transcribe as written as it's followable)

"I stretch out beside you in bed
I try to rest but their is too much
Chaos in my head
I can smell you, and feel
Your bodies heat
I want to lick you from
Your head to your feet
I want to stare into your
eyes as you work between my
   thys."


so 17th century.

Broken Meter Notes (Archive!)

These can be funny...



A: receipt for DLX SEFD PLTR with slaw/"BROKEN"
B: phone #s of "presha" & "white girl"
  

"THIS IS BALONEY." (other side blank)
                                                


A: interesting to do list
B:


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Vomit Archive

Working in a college town, I see a lot of vomit. Mostly, I find the vomit gross and distressing, but it's occasionally hilarious (well...maybe). This is the cache of those instances.
December 7, 2011 - bank window 
"Hot Rod" - November 18, 2011
Vomit...
or Poo??? (December 30, 2011)


Courtesy, almost. (December 31, 2011)
* the dates refer to date photographed (which generally means the morning after the offense occurred, as i work 6 days a week and cover the same territory, so when it's new, i notice.)




Random December Pt. 1








there's another hanging from the rearview... good luck!







Thursday, October 6, 2011

"Beau Online"

I really like this note-to-self:



I found this at a hoity-toity (sp?) function. The mayor spoke. People wore suits. This was on the ground. One of my favorites ever.

Inside Informations: Christ the Bar Person's Invoice

I've often wondered about the workings of the booze business, both local and worldwide. Human civiliation's most endorsed (and by far highest grossing, at almost $1.2 trillion in 2008: source) form of self-medication ("entertainment") seems to many (including myself) "recession-proof" (pun intended?). I haven't gone to the trouble to investigate whether "recession" (we're all aware that the G/B (Government/Business) manipulates cash flow, yes?: video explanation) actually decreases sales or not, but i'm sure if you're interested you can find some stuff on the Internet.

Anyway, I did find this invoice on the ground. Beneath the pic, I'll just mention a few interesting things I learned from perusing it. (You can click all images on this blog to enlarge them) (*I do edit these images in order to remove information that may identify the location of my work, mostly out of respect for my company and neighbors, to tell true. I like a privacy-y tact).


1. This bar owner's first name is, apparently, "Christ" (top left). If that's not a computer shortening, well...holy this person!

2. Net bottle cost (with discount, I believe) of the liter of vodka purchased here is $5.31, which at 64 ounces conservatively equals 30 drinks (accounting for spillage and moderate employee "mis"/use, at an average pour rate of 1.5-2 oz per drink). Further, conservatively estimating that a vodka drink costs $2.75 (though I believe it is probably more like $3.25 or higher as this is a "nice"(ish) place, but probably still does happy hour things), then the (conservatively low) average gross profit from each bottle is $77.19 (2.75x30=82.5-5.31=77.19) (at 3.25 per drink it's $92.19). These are low estimates. And people still have to get paid their servers'/bartenders' (criminally low?) wage of probably less than $3/hour.. All this math goes to show that booze=$$$ - as long as you're the one selling it. (Question: how much is the distributor paying?! Another question: How much is the manufacturer making?! It's nuts! It hurts my brain. If I cared more it probably wouldn't. Things to think about nonetheless.)

Prize: 20 Snapfish Prints

As you know, I find many things on the street. I found this winning coupon for 20 prints from Snapfish, and immediately decided it should be a blog-reading prize. First person to log in and use the code gets it. That's how it goes with parking: it's all about timing. Maybe it's random, maybe it's Providence. You'll learn how I feel about it in...time. Hmmph. Good luck :)


(the resolution of photo isn't great, so: the prize claim # is P3RMQB2G7BVR)

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Busy Week: Fun

Why not just stay home/I didn't expect to see you here! 
Lame van, right rear window. Calvin pissing on Calvin. Classic.
Lame van, left rear window. Just die already.
The extra O is for U.
Aw, shucks!
Aw, shucks!!
Double dog disaster.
Nom nom nom.
Kitty litter.
Loading zone.
Careful what you wish for.
Rad magnet.