Cache up

i've had these two notes for a bit. gotta get em on here and be free of em. i find em funny, though i do empathize with the writers. i just don't have control over all aspects of the meter, so it's a judgement call - if i don't know your car, you're safe, i'll take your word for it. and, of course, if i know the car from great parking (there are some! (i smile typing that)), i'll certainly trust (and not write you a ticket). dunno if that's true for the other officers (we're officers) though...so, keep that in mind. circa Jan/Feb 2012.

"I gotta pee pee"

January 30, 2012. There was no time on the meter, but I let this one slide because it made me laugh... and I believed it was true.

Hall of Shame

I've seen this open Bible on the dashboard of this car several times, and often the car is in a state of malparkage (tip of the hat to The Simpsons - my favorite show). The book is positioned so I can read it easily, but I never know which verse is the one I'm supposed to heed! Is it Psalm 51? Here's verse 1: "Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love: according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions." Hmmm... I can see an angle there. But it could be Psalm 52! (Verse 1: "Why boast you of mischief done against the loving-kindness of God [and the godly], O mighty [sinful] man, day after day?") It's like someones are TRYING to confuse me..

I don't care if your NAME is Kmart, this is just dumb.

Laws are offensive.

Proof that there really is a Garfield.

The ubiquitous "tumbleweave." The elastic band makes this a rarer specimen.

Just put your lips on the body like this... (the "news" is offensive, too). *i was only inside for a minute, boss.

Weird (Awesome) Stickers

Whosever car this is is can be my friend. I love it so much I can't even choose a favorite scene.

Driver's side backseat window. (Jan 19, 2012)

"The Worst Comic Ever"

While I will not claim to -like- parking meters, I can admit that there is something compelling about them - perhaps it's their status as one of urbanity's most loathed inanimate objects, or perchance it is their precocious behavior, maybe even it could be their mischievous sense of humor (so many shockingly-interrupted pedestrians!)... or might it just be how closely they, in their dutiful glamourlessness, remind me of so many people I love - just a bit too sincere to excite the masses, and mostly too modest to object.. Whatever it is, and for one reason or another, I've developed a soft spot for them - so much so that they've begun to appear anthropomorphized in my sappy comix. Consider for example "The Worst Comic Ever," drawn, by me, on January 6, 2012:

terrible. ( :

Catching Up!: Notes/Memoirs/Litters

The way i'm gonna do this (transcribe these) is: i'll type exactly what the handwriting looks like to me, then, when necessary, follow confusing bits with my best guesses at translation within brackets. For example, the first note contains handwriting that looks to me like it says "Af Leo" so i will write that, but it will be followed by [After]. Get it? Good. Finally, in the interest of readability, I will embolden (is that a word?) what i perceive is the gist of the narrative.

1:

 

"(I've) Af Leo [After] completing ties [the] Exposing Phase & Concludeing realizeing [realizing] in a ferain/ fret will go to rear woarerdl lengtus to keep from working [?] toseter [together] & coming up to // that remaining loyal + absolutely refusing to give up on Phamily & Phriends this makes me soceting [something] that I denied for 25 years: A Damn Fool! // By takeing [taking] full adventsege [advantage] of unEmployment I Experinced [experienced] the Exposing Phase"

my thoughts: someone put someone up to this, but i hope it helps. lives can be pretty tough. (((good vibes)))

2:

 

*before you get started, i'll let you know that this one gets a "bawdy materials" tag. love poetry on receipt paper. yay! (i'm just gonna transcribe as written as it's followable)

"I stretch out beside you in bed
I try to rest but their is too much
Chaos in my head
I can smell you, and feel
Your bodies heat
I want to lick you from
Your head to your feet
I want to stare into your
eyes as you work between my
   thys."


so 17th century.

Broken Meter Notes (Archive!)

These can be funny...

A: receipt for DLX SEFD PLTR with slaw/"BROKEN"

B: phone #s of "presha" & "white girl"

  

"THIS IS BALONEY." (other side blank)

                                                

A: interesting to do list

B:

Characters! (Archive?)

Told ya i'm into the archives. I'm not sure how they'll update/alert those "following" the blog though. Perhaps i'll sign up sos i can see.. mmm hmmm. I'll try to write something soon too, instead of just posting lots of pictures. I do enjoy these pics though! Oh, how i enjoy them!

(*remember - you can enlarge the photos by clicking on them)

December 17, 2011

October 20, 2011. This dude was cool enough to let me snap his photo to share with a friend on her birthday. I told him I knew she'd like nothing more than his picture as a gift, so he obliged. Note the sandwich in his right hand. When we were discussing wether or not the picture came out ok he realized I'm a parking officer and started to freak out a little, thinking I was going to get him in trouble, as he was double-parked (parked in a traffic lane). I told him all was indeed well, and it is. I blurred his face a little for privacy. ..But if you know him, you know him. No question.

George. Oh, so many stories about George aka "Wild Man." The broom may seem eccentric, but if you're familiar with George, you know it somehow makes sense. Last summer he and I traded hats one day - I wore his army helmet while he wore my straw hat. Another time, my "significant other" :) saw him driving/riding his automatic wheelchair down the yellow lines of a significantly inclined and very busy street. This photo: Feb. 21, 2012. Notice the shades in his right hand. :) Much love, George. Truly, he seems to be a sweet man.

Dogs in Cars (Archive)

I'm diggin the idea of collections (not money - though we do, so watch out)/archives. Here's Dogs in Cars: one of my favorites!

Buddy (December 8, 2011)

Hmmm.. I'll do better. (Dec. 17, 2011)

Cuties (see!) (Dec. 17, 2011)

I am the "Ghost," after all... :) (inside joke). This dog didn't bark - a very sweet pup. (Dec. 19, 2011)

Good dog. Bad dog owner? (Dec. 19, 2011)

Mean as hell poodle, foaming with rage. I ticketed this car, too. (Ha! - perhaps I did take a little pleasure in it..)
(Dec. 20, 2011)

Awww... (Dec. 29, 2011)

YIKES!!! (Dec. 29, 2011)

December 30, 2011

December 30, 2011 *most dogs in cars don't like me (2461p)

January 6, 2012

January 7, 2012

January 7, 2012 - day of sweet doggies

HA! - January 9, 2012

DOGS IN CARS DON'T LIKE ME! - January 10, 2012

Feb. 8, 2012. I looked at this dog for so long that the car/dog "owner" came back before I wrote the (deserved) ticket. Good boy!

Feb. 9, 2012. Sneaks McPensivepants

HALL OF FAME!!!!! - Feb. 15, 2012. This dog wins! I promise that by the time I got within 15 feet of this car this pooch started wagging his tail (and body) (click on this image to see a bigger version and look at that face!!!!) so hard that it SET OFF THE CAR ALARM! If I hadn't met my lover on the job, this event would be the best thing yet that's happened in my tenure as "meter butler." I love this dog. (He paused for a second when the alarm started going off, like he'd sort of registered that he may've done it, but barely skipped a beat - squintin them eyes, waggin away. Yes. !

Feb. 17, 2012

Feb. 17, 2012

Feb. 21, 2012



May 24, 2012

Santas

Tis the season! If I can catch 'em, i'll post em!

THANKS SANTA(S)!

Vomit Archive

Working in a college town, I see a lot of vomit. Mostly, I find the vomit gross and distressing, but it's occasionally hilarious (well...maybe). This is the cache of those instances.

December 7, 2011 - bank window 

"Hot Rod" - November 18, 2011

Vomit...

or Poo??? (December 30, 2011)

Courtesy, almost. (December 31, 2011)

* the dates refer to date photographed (which generally means the morning after the offense occurred, as i work 6 days a week and cover the same territory, so when it's new, i notice.)