Saturday, September 17, 2011


As with the "Overheard" post, this will become an archive - this time of heckles i've been recipient party to.

*Best heckle yet: "I hate your job, but you're chill." [9.17.2011 - stated at a conversational volume by an early-twentiesish fraternityish dude leaning out of a taxicab window. I had my back to traffic as i was writing up a vehicle, and as i turned to say thanks and laugh the cab was driving off, and the dude, whose giant grin made me suspect him of intoxication, was giggling giddily, and sincerely. Drunk. And awesome.] BEST HECKLE YET. Thanks, dude!

-"Get a real job." [I've actually heard this one twice from the same guy. He's looks like a rich jerky kid cum college student with his clean hair in his grey Infinity (doucheiest colour, btw - j/k). He says it with immense disdain, and the first time he said it he almost got creamed in the intersection where he was turning left on red as he heckled. And he still went for it again...while making another left. Hmmmm...coincidence? It's]

-"I fucking hate you motherfuckerrrr." [Another fratty dude, in yet another grey Infinity (not the same guy as above (can you believe it?!)). I know this because this guy dragged it out like it was tons of fun. That, and he looks different than the other guy. It was in the same intersection as "real job" heckle #2 though! ...Do de do do.]

-"You writing a ticket?! That's petty." [This was a tiring conversation started by an older gentleman stopped in traffic quite a bit away from where i was doing my sneaky duties. He repeatedly insisted that i was engaged in "petty" activity, and that i should reconsider. I responded by asking if some day, when he might want to park his blue Trailblazer somewhere in the area, would he still think it's so petty if instead of being able to do that in convenient proximity to his desired destination, he had to live inside of his car forever. He responded by saying that he "won't need to." Fair enough then.]

-"Oh, man, have a heart." / "Oh, man, give 'em a break." [These are the most common requests. "Have a heart" is usually offered by Dads out on the town with the kid(s); "Give 'em a break" is generally the petition of the homeless, given on behalf of their neighbors unknown, usually as a parting statement, which goes to show that these phrases aren't Heckles (capital H) in every circumstance; but i assure you, sometimes they are. My responses vary, but my favorite, when i'm feeling antagonized and sassy, is a simple "Nope, i won't do it" - especially satisfying when "have a heart" is the urging.]

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